A Truant officers “catch” of the very near future!

I guess you know you are really getting old and (I’d say grumpy..but its probably
copyrighted or something) … when the marauding hoards of school holidaying little
people begin to annoy you.  Of course if you are a parent its a wonderful time for
really bonding with the youngsters screaming or playing loud music throughout the
normally calm house!

Its only us confirmed old bachelor’s who are just plain driven insane by mega-packed
buses, long queues and what seems to just be noise, noise, noise in the normally
comfortably moderately less stressful world around us. Then there’s the sheer volume
of these Lilliputians –  their everywhere en masse swearing and spitting at us older
people (or is it the other way around..) chewing gum and generally worshipping
Satan etc.

Now of course if I was twenty years younger I’d be telling myself to “get … you old
fart”, but as their is little other benefit to getting older I think its only fair that I make
use of the make-life-miserable-for-young-people right afforded to me and bring some
sanity back to our shopping centres and every other public area.

What I am proposing is not unreasonable: a couple of days off for the kiddies just
before Christmas day, then straight back to school a few days after. We could
gradually move school attendance up to just the day off for Xmas and if we really
wanted the world to ourselves, parental units could just drop the pressies off at
school during play lunch Xmas day. Truant Officers could be given powers of
immediate arrest and real hand cuffs.

Of course it would be hard to convince the young that this curbing of the School Hols
was a great idea, so we could trick them into attending 365 days of school with clever
incentives: yes you will get a new iPhone..but you have to read every single book first!